In Session

Yep, you guessed it, back to school for little ol' me.  For some reason this summer blew by entirely too fast!  I always think school comes too soon but this summer felt like it never really started until about 2 weeks ago and now it's time to buckle down and study.  Which is hard when it's so sunny outside!
So the first day of school...most people (or at least girls) think about what they're going to wear, make sure they have all their supplies, make sure their hair is perfect and walk into class with style and grace....Let me tell you how my first day of school went:
Have to find a new route to make the drive from Alpine to Provo because not only is there construction and literally every road I could take, but now there are multiple school zones!  Add in an 8am class and now I get general "work traffic" too.  So I get up, a little later than planned, so luckily it was a not-washing-my-hair-day and I could just spray in a little dry shampoo and head out the door.  Not my favorite kind of day, but we make do.  Don't worry, because although I accounted for the requisite work traffic, I failed to correctly estimate the "I'm late for class and BYU has the worst parking ever" traffic.  Cut to me circling the parking lot with 12 other people waiting for some type of sports class to get out so we can steal their parking spots.
Remember that glamorous girl who's got everything together walking into class on the first day of school? Yeah, that wasn't me.  I was the 15 minutes late, ran up the huge staircase in high heels and now have to sit directly in front of the professor and doesn't have a clue what's going on girl.  Luckily because I was 15 minutes late, I only had to sit there for half an hour!
Upon exiting the building and walking back down the stairs, with a much calmer demeanor I might add, I saw what could only be described as the 8 am traffic on crack.  One of the million drones circling the parking lot was desperate enough to offer me a ride to my car so that he could have the coveted stall.  So I jumped in a random strangers truck, rode the 3 rows to my car and gladly left the mess behind. You'd never guess this was my 5th year in college now would ya?

All in all, I nailed the first day of school

Have you ever had a moment where you thought to yourself, "wow-this feels exactly what movies look like!"  ?? Maybe it's just me, but I've had a couple of these moments and today was a great one!  I had an e.x.t.r.e.m.e.l.y long day at work (try 9-8) and as I was driving home I hit the perfect combination.  I had the top down on the convertible, my hair blowing ever so slightly,  it was dusk-still light and warm, but definitely the winding down moments of the day, and Fantasia's "Even Angels" started playing on the iPod.  For some reason this moment to me, heading home from a long day of work, still dressed up in my white button down shirt and black slacks felt something akin to J. Lo in the Wedding Planner.  Y'know that moment when she goes home to an empty house, vacuums, makes dinner, all that great stuff.  My life's not picture perfect, but sometimes I get a glimpse of greatness!


image

Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy

Can I just tell you that the last 5 days have been a complete and utter disaster?!  I seriously have NO idea what is out to get me, but I wish it would go away.  I dropped my laptop, my nail polish shattered, black paint on white carpet, a dead car....I don't know when it will end, but I sincerely hope it's soon!  A major aspect of my scatter-brained "ness" is probably the fact that my ex-husband is getting married again.  I try not to get too specific in regards to this area of my life, I am completely open to questions, but I try not to force it on people because some are extremely uncomfortable with my circumstances.  I'm finding out it's quite the process now that he's moving on in terms of his relationship and that there is actually participation required from me.  Basically, I feel like I'm in some cloud or weird funk.  I don't quite know how to deal with this situation.  I wish him every happiness in the world and I hope everything works out this time around.  I just don't quite know how this moment fits into my life.  It's almost like going through the entire divorce again.  There are so many things going through my head right now.  I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I feel awkward, I'm actually glad its happening now instead of years down the road, I'm happy for him, I'm confused, I'm so ready to just have it over and down with.  It makes me a little nervous about things to come and the whole process that we're now starting. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to run until I can't anymore, I want to not think about it.

  I can't get it out of my head and all I want to do is move on