Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy

Can I just tell you that the last 5 days have been a complete and utter disaster?!  I seriously have NO idea what is out to get me, but I wish it would go away.  I dropped my laptop, my nail polish shattered, black paint on white carpet, a dead car....I don't know when it will end, but I sincerely hope it's soon!  A major aspect of my scatter-brained "ness" is probably the fact that my ex-husband is getting married again.  I try not to get too specific in regards to this area of my life, I am completely open to questions, but I try not to force it on people because some are extremely uncomfortable with my circumstances.  I'm finding out it's quite the process now that he's moving on in terms of his relationship and that there is actually participation required from me.  Basically, I feel like I'm in some cloud or weird funk.  I don't quite know how to deal with this situation.  I wish him every happiness in the world and I hope everything works out this time around.  I just don't quite know how this moment fits into my life.  It's almost like going through the entire divorce again.  There are so many things going through my head right now.  I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I feel awkward, I'm actually glad its happening now instead of years down the road, I'm happy for him, I'm confused, I'm so ready to just have it over and down with.  It makes me a little nervous about things to come and the whole process that we're now starting. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to run until I can't anymore, I want to not think about it.

  I can't get it out of my head and all I want to do is move on

No comments: