Have you ever had a moment where you thought to yourself, "wow-this feels exactly what movies look like!"  ?? Maybe it's just me, but I've had a couple of these moments and today was a great one!  I had an e.x.t.r.e.m.e.l.y long day at work (try 9-8) and as I was driving home I hit the perfect combination.  I had the top down on the convertible, my hair blowing ever so slightly,  it was dusk-still light and warm, but definitely the winding down moments of the day, and Fantasia's "Even Angels" started playing on the iPod.  For some reason this moment to me, heading home from a long day of work, still dressed up in my white button down shirt and black slacks felt something akin to J. Lo in the Wedding Planner.  Y'know that moment when she goes home to an empty house, vacuums, makes dinner, all that great stuff.  My life's not picture perfect, but sometimes I get a glimpse of greatness!


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Oh boy, Oh boy, Oh boy

Can I just tell you that the last 5 days have been a complete and utter disaster?!  I seriously have NO idea what is out to get me, but I wish it would go away.  I dropped my laptop, my nail polish shattered, black paint on white carpet, a dead car....I don't know when it will end, but I sincerely hope it's soon!  A major aspect of my scatter-brained "ness" is probably the fact that my ex-husband is getting married again.  I try not to get too specific in regards to this area of my life, I am completely open to questions, but I try not to force it on people because some are extremely uncomfortable with my circumstances.  I'm finding out it's quite the process now that he's moving on in terms of his relationship and that there is actually participation required from me.  Basically, I feel like I'm in some cloud or weird funk.  I don't quite know how to deal with this situation.  I wish him every happiness in the world and I hope everything works out this time around.  I just don't quite know how this moment fits into my life.  It's almost like going through the entire divorce again.  There are so many things going through my head right now.  I'm tired, I'm frustrated, I feel awkward, I'm actually glad its happening now instead of years down the road, I'm happy for him, I'm confused, I'm so ready to just have it over and down with.  It makes me a little nervous about things to come and the whole process that we're now starting. I want to scream, I want to cry, I want to run until I can't anymore, I want to not think about it.

  I can't get it out of my head and all I want to do is move on

Work Work Work

Forgive me for my slacking on the whole blogging thing....it started out that I was unemployed and had nothing exciting going on, now I have a NEW JOB and am too busy to blog about anything!!  So here's a quick rundown of what I've been up to the last week.  I started a new job on Monday as a Marketing Assistant at Alpine Spinal Rehab.  It's a complete change from everything I've done and so far I LOVE it! I get to go out and meet with people in several different professions and tell them a little about what we do.  What I'm loving the most is that I get to move around, I deliver gift baskets and other stuff like that and I'm not stuck behind a desk on my fanny all day!  In fact, I do not even have a desk!  I'm going on my first marketing call by myself and I'm a little nervous, but I'm super excited about it.
In addition to that crazy....I was put in charge of organizing the Alpine Days booths!  It was kind of dumped in my lap and I'm learning/making it up as I go.  It's not something I was prepared for, but I think I'm hanging in there for now!  If you don't hear from me, I'm either in marketing meetings or mapping out booths!!
Aaaaand, I was just called to teach relief society...this week has been totally out of my comfort zone!  I always thought of myself as the one that was on the fringes, watching and observing, I'm not an attention person and my face turns red immediately if there's a lot of attention focused on me.  I don't know what I'm supposed to be learning from all this, but I guess I'll learn to juggle at least!  I can definitely tell that I'm learning and growing and stretching who I am.  I hope I survive because I'm enjoying being busy again and having something to do!!

Babysitting

One of the benefits of being unemployed has been the time I've been able to spend doing things I actually want to do and being with my family.  For the last 3 summers I worked full time and I always felt like I was missing out on so much.  This summer however I've had more chance to play and to help out, so while my Sister-in-Law Nancy was at work, I got to hang out with her kids and it was so entertaining!  They're pretty self-sufficient, as Kale is 12 and Tavyn is now 9.  Coming up with things that both of them would like to do was a little difficult at first but we figured it out pretty quick.  One day I took 8 kids down to Snoasis and boy did we create a long line!  I didn't get a chance to snap a picture, but sometimes I think that's a sign of just how much fun you're actually having.  Another day we grabbed some friends and went down to the park so the girls could swing and the boys could play soccer.  The girls had to get "beautified" before we went though because as Eleanore said, "We might meet some boys at the park."  Then we got in my car, put the top down and cruised.  After I did both girls hair and drove them to the park Eleanore offered to do my hair, in case I met any boys, and then told me my car would definitely get all the boys to like me!  Who knew I needed dating help from 9 year olds!?

On another day with the kids we made tie dye shirts using fabric paint from Hobby Lobby (which is waaay better than traditional tie dying because you don't have to pre-treat the shirts, it's not nearly as messy and it cleans up in a minute) went to the park to play soccer again and then swam.

    Check out this awesome video of our friend Jonas and his amazing soccer skills...

https://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=10150360173873032

I also babysat 3 of my sister's kids, and they were so crazy!  A lot of fun, but the frequency in which they consume Macaroni 'n Cheese is slightly alarming!

Rebuilding

A year ago I didn't know what the future held.  I was terrified of life, of seeing people I knew, of having to tell people what happened, of questions I didn't have an answer to.  Looking back, I don't know where the strength to do it came from.  My life isn't perfect now.  It's still a mess, every single day.  I don't know what life holds and I don't really know where I'm headed.  Some days are still a struggle.  But life is better, and that's the feeling I'm going to follow

Running for a Reason

I've never been much of a runner.  Sure I do the occasional run just to keep almost in shape, but I've never been committed to it.  I recently found a reason to get out of bed early enough to get a run in in the beautiful mountain air. Why am I missing precious sleep time when I have no reason to be out of bed before 9 am?   The Teach the Children Annual 5k fun run.  We all know I'm a bit of a sucker for good causes (enter the 3 pair of TOMS I wear constantly, the Falling Whistle I wear every single day, and my ambition to learn sign language so I can return to Ghana with Signs of Hope International)  I don't believe I'm a goody two shoes by any means, but I love all of these organizations and am trying to my part to help where I can.  The 5k is July 9th in Murray at 7am.  If any of you would like to join me fill out a registration form and let's get running! 

Land of Windmills and Wooden Shoes

A couple weeks ago I went to visit my best friend/sister Gentry and her husband Chris in Amsterdam.  I'd been looking forward to this trip since they moved last September.  It came at a perfect moment too.  I'd been saving and saving to go and just before I left, I lost my job.  I know it doesn't sound like an ideal time to lose my employment, but I'd been saving so intensely for this trip that I actually over-saved and have some money left over!  It was a great stress reliever after a strenuous 4 months.  Needless to say, once I got there and got to hang out with these two I didn't want to ever come home!  I got to go with Gent to her ultra-sound, which was exciting because I won't be able to see her baby until 2 months AFTER she's born!  So the little image that was barely discernible as a baby at times, will have to hold me over.  They tried to keep me awake after the 8 hour time change so we went down and wandered through Amsterdam and went to dinner at the Hard Rock Cafe. Chris and Gent took me to Madurodam, the miniature of Amsterdam,  Gent and I went on a bus tour to Volendam and Marken, toured through a cheese factory and a wooden shoe factory, saw windmills across the countryside, went to the Anne Frank museum, (which literally made me cry, it was incredible), went shopping, walked through a nunnery, went to the bookstore, walked around the city, went to lunch and just hung out together.  It was just like before we lived in different countries!  I've missed her so incredibly much, and it was so hard to come home, but I loved being able to spend time with her (and Chris) again.





It was so fun to visit and I miss it already.  The country was beautiful and there are museums on every corner! I never really planned on visiting The Netherlands (although it probably should have been a priority since it's my heritage) but I am so glad I did.  The buildings are beautiful, the trains are super easy to navigate, the canals are amazing.  It was such a wonderful trip!  Thanks Gent and Chris!